The Courage to Surrender: A Baby Boomer's Recovery from a Life of Alcohol and Drug Addiction in Corporate America...

My memoir is not about fame but resonates with baby boomers who've shared a beer and joint with me. I journey from college grad and young father in 1969, through escalating drug use, to a high-flying yet destructive career. A stark warning from my doctor in 2001 turned my life around. Through 1800 AA meetings, I navigated from the depths of addiction to sobriety. My book is a raw account of alcoholism and drug addiction, offering insights into the twisted mind of an addict, aimed at both sufferers and their supporters. It's a story of downfall, recovery, and the truths learned along the way, inviting readers to glimpse the reality of a life-threatening disease without preaching sobriety.

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About the Author: John W.
This is a true story about a young boy from a quiet village in the Adirondack Mountains. It describes what life was like during the Vietnam War era and the growth of the Woodstock nation, when the world was in a state of change. Perhaps the largest impact in the world was the computer technology that made the world virtually smaller. It was 1969 when I graduated from college, and began a career programming computers that ended some 40 years later with me managing IT projects for the fifth largest company in the world.

The next biggest change for me was the introduction of marijuana as a recreational drug. It was love affair that lasted seventeen years, during which time I used various drugs to resolve the issues of daily life. Drugs and alcohol ran through my body 24 / 7. Getting high became my solution for myriad personal problems like an inbred lack of trust, an inferiority complex and a need for acceptance that often took the form of doing the wrong thing.

My job movement was aggressive always looking for a bigger salary, a higher rung up the corporate ladder and an upgrade of our American Dream. But I had secrets in a dark side of my life where my self-destruction was fueled by alcohol and drugs, and influenced by addicts I found along my highway to hell.

On Dec. 17,2001 I found the courage to surrender the only life I have ever known - shame and guilt. Today life is easier and lighter without the secrets I nurtured for over 30 years. Since then I have built a life without substances and I can look people in the eye without having to turn away from worry I might have harmed them in the past. Although I’ve been sober for nearly twelve years, it is still the most important part of my life because one slip and I’m not sure I could stay sober again, but I am certain my beautiful life would vanish.
Unlike the memoir of a famous person, my story lives with the millions of baby boomers who passed me a joint and a beer in college and again at the corporate picnic. Before the Woodstock weekend in 1969, I graduated from college and married the mother of our love child, began training for a computer programming career, and a few months later got a high number in the draft lottery. My use of recreational drugs escalated from fun getting high to a craving that trumped my love for drinking beer.

I secured a project manager job at the corporate offices of a world-wide company which is where I entered a fast lane that became a free fall to the bottom of my life. My days began by smoking dope to medicate my alcohol ravaged insides, so I could tolerate the gridlock of morning rush hour traffic. Business days included getting high at noon while on the way to seedy strip joints for a lunch of drinking. The true measure of my self-destruction lay hidden on the dark side of my life where substances and out of control people influenced me into doing things I knew were wrong.

On Dec 17, 2001 my doctor showed me the results of my physical to explain that if I continued to drink I would die sooner rather than later. His prognosis scared me, so I poured out my alcohol and used an old AA schedule to attend the first of some 1800 meetings. My story is full of experiences from my days at the bottom of life, through the first years in recovery, to a day in sobriety. My book combines short stories of life with vivid descriptions of actual situations that allow the reader to see this life-threatening disease from all angles. There are messages for the friends and family of an addict, so they can see that secrecy and enabling are part of the madness.

When you have finished my memoir some of the mystery that surrounds alcoholism and drug addiction will be answered: why people hit deep bottoms, fear based decisions, motive driven behavior, and how the disease twists the mind of the alcoholic / drug addict. Although my past is a mixture of shame and guilt, I'll tell you who I was, what I did, and the lessons I had to learn more than once. Since Dec. 17, 2001 I have not found a problem or instance that I thought drinking and using would improve. I do not preach the virtues of sobriety I merely open my story for the reader to take what they need.

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Available in the following formats: .epub, .pdf, .mobi

Price: $1.99 USD

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